One of the things I have been doing while I have been waiting (apart from waiting for the postman, rushing to the phone everytime it rings and checking my email several times per day) is reflecting and thinking.
As I stated in my first post, I made an initial enquiry almost 4 years ago. Then my life was very different. My bro and SIL had just had their first child who was a baby. I was considering adopting (if as a single person it was allowed) two school age children as that age group was where I had the most experience. Toddlers and small children, quite frankly, were a bit boring. My small nephew though gorgeous, was just a baby, he didn’t do much and I had no real relationship with him. I also wasn’t particularly close to my brother or sister in law.
Now things are very different. I have two young nephews who are part of my life and who I enjoy spending time with. I feel closer to my family and its been partly through my relationship with my nephews as they are growing. I also have friends in the area with similar aged children. It now feels important that the child/children I adopt fit in (as far as they can) with my wider family, nephews included, and friends. I think even my nephews will have their part to play in welcoming and supporting the new addition/s to our family (if I get that far etc etc). I also obviously now have more experience with younger children. This means in my head I am now erring towards considering the younger age range of children, even though I know this may mean a longer wait.
I’m not sure about how many children now – I’m hoping that’s something I can work out with a social worker/through the process. Two younger children still seems more ‘demanding’ than two older children but may be its just a different kind of ‘demanding’, as obviously older children who have been through the care system have complex needs. May be given time I could to apply to adopt another at a later date…but I guess that would depend on how awful I find the process this time round, if indeed I even get as far as applying to adopt!