Venting my spleen

Feeling pretty rubbish today. I am going to try venting all my anger here in the hopes that a good purge will get rid of it and stop it all from churning around in my brain and bursting out at regular intervals. Concentration levels so far today are at minimum.

So, I finally got a reply from my social worker. Apparently, one of the local authorities I lived in has not responded to a check they have to do and my medical form is still not back from the independent assessor. But the thing that I can’t help but take personally is one of the organisations I currently work at with children still has not got their reference in. This is despite me speaking to the person writing it directly back at the beginning of February about how important it was, emailing her to ask her to get it in by 28th February and the agency sending a reminder letter asking for it. I’m annoyed and upset because to me it shows how little they think of me and how unsupportive they are. I sent an email to the organisation asking them to do it as soon as possible because their inaction is contributing to holding the process up and explained how I had asked the person who is writing it to get it in as soon as possible and that the adoption agency is now sending out a third letter to ask for the reference. I got a one sentence reply – no apology, just a brush off. No concern that this is my life and future they are messing with. No concern about how their hesitance at responding might be perceived by the agency. Nothing. I feel very upset and extremely angry that they quite clearly do not care.

I am also annoyed with my social worker, though no-where near as much as I am with the organisation above. I received an email on 14th February stating that most of my references were in. That clearly wasn’t true as I now know at least 4 (out of 8) have been sent since. Now in this email she stated again that she would chase up the missing items and says ‘I know its difficult waiting, but under the new system….blah, blah, blah.’ I then responded to the email and got another out of office reply stating she’s now on annual leave until 31st March! Well, how can she be chasing anything up then?

I also saw an advert on the TV…yes the TV…last night about adopting. Happy brightly dressed smiling people cuddling cute little smiling children. ‘If you’re single, you can adopt! If you’re a same sex couple you can adopt! If you already have a family, or if you don’t, you can adopt! Under the new streamlined system its quicker than you might think!’ I almost threw something at the telly. I snorted sarcastically and so loudly that my dog (who was fast asleep beside me) leapt off the sofa. I then poured an incredibly large drink. Admittedly the advert wasn’t from my agency but still, it was enough to pour salt into the wound.

I now have no idea when I’ll pass stage one. Right now, I can’t see it being any time soon.

Stop press! Just had an email through from the person who was supposed to be writing my reference saying she has written it and sent it in the envelope provided. Now I don’t know what to think. Either she’s just saying that to get her out of a hole and to make me feel bad for saying that I didn’t think she’d taken it seriously (which I did, in the email I sent over the weekend) or the social worker is lying about not getting the reference. That to me makes no sense – why would the social worker stall things, unless there is too many of us going through the process at once. I’ve now asked the person to send the reference again as soon as possible and sent an email to my social worker (even though she won’t get it for a week) to explain what I’ve been told.

Just utter crap. 

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The Wall of Silence

Its been over a month since I’ve written a blog post, so time for an update.

Shame there isn’t anything to update!

Over two weeks ago I should have had a meeting with my social worker at which she was hoping to sign me off stage one. She cancelled at the last minute saying some things were not back yet, therefore I could not pass stage one and there was no point in meeting. In the message left on my answerphone she said she would chase up these things up and get back to me.

Since then I have been met with a wall of silence again. Nothing. Not an email or a phonecall…in two and a half weeks. And then I went through all the questions – if I call, will I look too pushy…if I leave it, will it look like I don’t care? And then wondering, is there a problem with the references or the medical? So in the end, as my two month stage one deadline had passed, I tried what I hope was a gently worded email. I received an autoreply back saying my SW was away and won’t be back til the middle of this coming week. So yes, my journey is deemed to be one characterised by slowness, waiting and walls of silence.

Its not all doom and gloom though. I have used the opportunity to start ‘getting my house in order’. Yes, some may accuse me of getting ahead of myself, but there are simply some DIY jobs that I’ve been putting off that I have needed to do for ages – this has just given me the kick to start getting on with them. And even if I don’t make it through the end of the process, then at least they’ll be done!

Also, I have discovered the wonderful blog of Nick King. So wonderful that even after leaving my specific adoption Twitter account for a while as I wasn’t finding it helpful, I started following him on my personal account just because his posts and blogs are so funny, touching and inspiring. It is now my bedtime reading every night! This is my favourite blog post I’ve read so far: http://www.nickkingsworld.com/adoption/2014/3/1bedtimestories although this weeks blog on the poo fairy is up there too! If you haven’t already, do check it out.